I have a new camera! I’ve decided to name it Hugh. I wasn’t paying tribute to Huge Jackman or something, but I tend to name my things the first name that I think of. Hugh fits! Hugh lives in a long stripey zebra sock.
The view from the window of my old house : Huey’s first landscape shot. Good job! This is the new view from my new window.
I’ve been moving house, it’s my favourite hobby. I used to be in the Bishan-Ang Mo Kio heart, and now I’m somewhere in the Bukit Batok ear of Singapore. It’s not a half bad analogy. Orchard, as the stomach, digests all the retail and investments and tourism; Shenton Way, Clarke Quay – the digestive tract and liver. Indispensable, and collectively congested. Bukit Timah? Maybe the face of Singapore. Wealthier citizens and larger, more opulent houses, sort of like how you put make up on a face.
Travelling from the ear of Singapore is hard, and I’ve been complaining to all my tuition students about the commute from my house to theirs. Also, I’ve been insisting that my friends come up to my place, instead of me going down to the city area, for meet ups. Hugh and I have been meeting up with lots of people.
Mature folks :
I’m learning German, so from now on I’ll randomly insert Deutsch in an effort to retain the new language. Ten days (Zehn Tag) till I leave! It’s been forever and a day since I left Malaysia for well and good and came back to Singapore, but in three years (drei Jahre), three years minus two days later, I’ll be leaving Singapore for the United States. I’m still vacillating somewhere around mid June (Juni), when I just found out that I actually would be going off. As in, off. To the land of liberty, guns, booze, bears, and everything inside and outside and in between. I’m still waiting for it to hit me that I’m going off so that I can start crying or jumping or something like that. My tear ducts have never been very cooperative… I cry when I’m not supposed to, like when I’m laughing about something retarded MJ has said.
Wilntyt : How are winters in the US going to be like?
MJ : Like, cold. The woman at the embassy said I’d be snowed in up to my chest!
Elven : But, lemme tell you, the air is damn sex!
MJ : Yeah, like you breathe in –whooo- and then you start orgasming! Like you imagine when it starts snowing and people everywhere start orgasming –
I laughed so much I that I had to use two hands (zwei Hand) to wipe my tears away. The lot of us from 3N (Shaunee, and wife 1 and 6 and Wilny) and an outsider (Au:slander) from 3O, Shu, visited my house (mein Haus), which is miles from the middle of nowhere. You see it’s at one end of the train station (der bahnoff!) and then, depending on a variety of factors, such as the stock market, the weather and my astrological signs, it’s another 20 minutes to an hour for the bus to get to my house.
This is when we had lunch at a restaurant. Hugh has a bit of an inferiority complex, you see how he focused especially on Shu’s huge ass camera? His screen displayed an erroneous message when I first switched him on : ‘memory card error. Format memory card : yes/no?’ Er… It took a few restarts before he could look at Shu’s camera in the eye without shorting out. Well Hughie, I’m afraid that size does matter where cameras are concerned, but I’m perfectly happy with you! If I had one the size of Shu’s, I’d probably leave you at home, and it’s better to be small and useful than be big and unused.
We got to my house after, and my houses all tend to be slack palaces. I have loads of innocent furniture, but that bean bag is just gobbling MJ up.
So I checked back in a day (last photo), and yeah, Raja’s all that’s left.
This is Bio RA.
From now on 4th March shall always have a special significance to me, not just as the day of my Results Release but the day of flooding of encouragement, prayer, support, luck, well wishes etc etc from friends and family! Thank you all for everything, guys, I would have nothing and be nowhere without all of you.
I’d gone back to school early to pay my library fines – or risk having my results witheld, the sheer absurdity of it! Nevertheless I paid up the whole 1/5 of a dollar and banged out a bit of Nightwish on the off-key piano beside the amphitheatre. The school’s changed a lot in the past three months. New project rooms by the library, ceilings scraped and new floors put in, a covered walkway from the MRT station to the school gate, which was very useful indeed because I alighted into a rainstorm. There was a riotous whole cohort reunion in the canteen; incidentally, thank goodness our canteen is just ‘the canteen’, not fancy-named after a famous someone-or-other. I went in school uniform and explained to my batchmates that I was anticipating having to retain, which was partly true. For the larger part, though, I wanted the priceless feeling of youth again. While it was nice to see the girls mostly dressed up and the guys mostly trimmed down to bald-tan-buff army proportions…they all looked so mature and too ready to grow up. It’s not easy to earn money doing something you like…!
A banner had been strung up, proclaiming our batch’s “Very Fine” results, which we analysed for tone and connotations, and pessimistically took as a euphemism – an ill omen, given the circumstances. We then met our biology teacher who revealed that this year’s performance for biology had taken a turn for the worse…but she stopped there. I don’t know how in the name of Dandenong Sasafras Woolloowoolloo I could have kept mum about my students’ results when they’re all jittery and bugging me nonstop like we were.
What a very specialized set of skills teachers have to pick up.
The principals were all gathered, the teachers and parents all there to celebrate/grieve with us, the sheer noise – everyone was excited, and I’d become so numb with tension by then, I was almost relaxed. This stomach-dropping anxiety comes in spurts and leaves my emotions little coagulated. So – the entire cohort singing the school song, enduring the stats and numbers and comparisons – knowing that they don’t mean anything about our individual reports, I’d forgotten my own trepidation and even when we were lining up by index number to get our reports I had sort of forgotten what I was suppose to be feeling or anticipating or…Gosh. I kinda just took the damn piece of paper and saw my grades and my teacher hugged me and I felt vaguely relieved. Then I sort of chanted my thanks and proceeded with the obligatory round of hi 5-ving and congratulations.
Thank God for everything. It feels stranged that having cut myself short of dreaming about today so many times, I finally sailed past the event without so much as a whoop. What’s more – for once, just for once, I’d like to know what I’m actually going to be doing by the end of this year. The endless long sickening wait for results and universities and scholarships is wearing me thin! Thin as spidersilk and frayed like a cobweb. I don’t even know which country I’ll be end up being in. So I give myself odd projects to do, though I used to want to slack relentlessly. But pokemon and Fire Emblem don’t satisfy me anymore. I suppose life’s like that, and in the meantime, I’ve found more to live for, more to worry about, more to fight for.
It’s my life, yeah it’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just wanna live while I’m alive
– A Bleach AMV to It’s My Life, by Bon Jovi.
Hence passes the big-ol’ be-all-and-end-all school term, leaving me, finally, after having suckerpunched some academic discipline and restrain into myself, living too much in the past and too little in the present. Glorifying yourself with fragments of old wealth, faded beauty, once-youth, long-ago-vitality, recollections strong enough to leave you breathless and insane, frantic with your own delusions, like Blanche Dubois. Like Anwell, like poor, frightened, pathetic Charles Kingshaw. My beloved psychedelic protagonists – to think that after I have dissected your motives and circumstances and served it up proudly on fresh, blank paper, I would end up like you – pitiful and neurotic! How present I was then. Imagine Carol Ann Duffy’s poetry making sense only after I no longer need it to.
“The film is on a loop.
…You remember little things. Telling stories
or pretending to be strong. Mommy’s never wrong.”
– Whoever She Was, by Carol Ann Duffy
You placate a sudden, restless emptiness with flotsam and jetsam inconsequential goals. Completing the Sinnoh-dex. Achieving maximum tactician stats. Re-reading character supports. You remember (or pretend to have known) love, lovers, loving, but really, it’s mostly just the little things. I don’t even know what they are, really. Uh : you-me-I -?- sounds schizoprenic even to your-my ears.
I don’t – I wish – I want I do – I came up with a whole family I’d love to have. A cross between the Russian and Irish wolfhound, called Taichou, or Tai (Ty) for short. A Belgian shepherd (groenendel), called Inferos, or Ros for short. A Norweigian terrier I want to call Shin, short for Shinpachi. An Afghan hound, named Khal Drogo, either Khal or Drogo for short. And a labrador retriever. I really only had one but once he’s gone, now I have five! Five. There they go again, beloved, multiplying all out of proportion. Rabid as Chuck Palaniuk’s Buster Rant Casey.
Hot damn, but talk about wickedly good covers and wickedly good books. I’m game for anything brutal and visceral as long as its well written, and while (normal) kids should stay away from Rant, adults could learn a bit or two from it. Finding the guts to love Palaniuk’s books is something like cultivating an acquired taste – it’s a little trying to read beneath the gore and the fragmented narrative style. I’m more favourably inclined to Palaniuk’s book than this book reviewer; however, it is is a good summary and the criticisms are valid.
Wow – stocking mandarins on trees! An angbao (with a condom and a sleazy coupon, no less!) from the illustrious WifeEe and Wife#1! Thank you for the moments I’m too lost to remember.
I’m getting a little bit sick of it.
Someday I will find a place and I will know exactly that I’m going to die there, and I will go through all the countries and houses I have lived through and I will remember, really remember, how intensely heartbreaking it is to live with so undiluted an intensity that I could write a page on each moment and still say not enough.
…sometime it will be dark. I thought, Let them come unhouse me of this flesh, and pry this house apart. It was no shelter now, it only kept me here alone, and I would rather be with them, if only to see them, even if they turned away from me. If I could see my mother, it would not have to be her eyes, her hair. I would not need to touch her sleeve. There was no more the stoop of her high shoulders. The lake had taken that, I knew. It was so very long since the dark had swum her hair, and there was nothing more to dream of, but often she almost slipped through any door I saw from the side of my eye, and it was she, and not changed, and not perished. She was music I no longer heard, that rang in my mind, itself and nothing else, lost to all sense, but not perished, not perished. – Housekeeping, by Marilyn Robinson.
Curtains remain close till evening time. They’re full length, three layers of them – the outermost is dark green, the second layer – my favourite – is a heavy, smooth, utilitarian grey which reflects heat and light. The last is a sheer gauzy wisp I’d like to go around lifting up swathes of secretive cloth just to look at what’s behind, underneath, and on the otherside.
It’s odd what I remember about my curtains.
NewHavenConneticut386ProspectStreetblockD : halflength,dusty,grey,windowblinds,viewofaplayground
SingaporeBlock90HillviewAvenueHillbrooks : halflength,blue,dolphinprint,viewoflandedpropertyandbukitbatokhill
KualaLumpurMalaysia258LorongMaarofTamanBandaraya : halflength,white,mosquitonets,terribleviewsallround…
Through windows go back, away, and up.
If you can’t come to Malaysia, Malaysia will come to you.
Not that I spent a lot of time here and not that all of here was good. Yet better a few moments that last a lifetime than the untold countless others forgotten before remembering.
You old friend, who has seen me within and without though I know nothing but the general contour of you, dearest constant noiseless companion, keep my secrets in your walls and bind my memories to your shape.
“Farewell, farewell! Till your eyries recieve you at journey’s end.
May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks. ” – The Hobbit, JRR Tolkien
Absolute SlackPalace Absolute SlackPalace Absolute SlackPalace Absolute SlackPalace Absolute SlackPalace Absolute SlackPalace Absolute SlackPalace Absolute SlackPalace Absolute SlackPalace Absolute SlackPalace Absolute SlackPalace Absolute SlackPalace Absolute SlackPalace Absolute
Absolutely slacking, like those overweight human blobs utterly dependent on their soda-dispensing-greasy-fries-serving-all-entertainment-constantly-provided cushion chairs in Wall-E. Abso-feckin’-ly slackin’. Like, I got no other way to describe it.
Chia as Blossom! The Number 1 leader!
Shao as Bubbles! The Joy and the Laughter!
Jeri as Buttercup! The Toughest Fighter!
Sumo as Mojo Jojo! Aaaaaaaannddddd………..
Sra Zei as Professor
Oak X Utonium!
I totally owned at Powerpuff Girls Monopoly. Luck was on my side. And I already have the skill.
Jeri (Buttercup): Flowershop! Flowershop! Flowershop! Flowershop! I need to land on Flowershop!
Sra (Professor Utonium): You need to roll a 2 to get Flowershop, which is an even number…you won’t be able to buy it anyway!
Jeri (Buttercup) : …ARGH!!
Chia (Blossom) : 5…6…7…oh, too late guys. I got the Flowershop!
Shao (Bubbles): Oh damnmit everywhere’s so dangerous…I should just stay in jail, safest place, since I don’t have property anyway! Free food free shelter… (rolls dice three times) nope, no doubles. Guess I’m still in jail then!
Sumo (MojoJojo): (lands on Just Visiting Jail, where Bubbles is jailed) … … oh, the irony! Hello, Bubbles!
Chia (Blossom): I’ll give you Bonsai Gardens if you’ll give me the PetStore and free access to all your green-coded properties.
Sra (Professor U): Don’t be stupid!
(A while later)
Sra (Prof U): Find, I’ll do it. Free access and PetStore for Bonsai Gardens.
(Some time later)
Chia (Blossom): Hello Sra! Nice to see you’ve built a house here!
Sra (Prof U) : = fume =
Chia (Blossom) : Wow, construction coming along very well! Two houses – three houses – Just swinging by!
Sra (Prof U) : = growl =
Shao (Bubbles) : Nooooooo!!! Shit Sra’s Green properties all damn dangerous. $900 on this and $975 on that! AAHHH!!
Chia (Blossom) : Hey, Sra! Just visitin…making loads of money I see!
My beloved 3NOns (pronounced threenons), I absolutely spent the whole morning trying to make a collage of all our best pictures, but photoshop just refuses to open bitmap images and most of the facebook photos are in bitmap. So until I can get .jpeg images, we’ll just have to settle for hot pictures Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, whom I aspire to be when I grow up. I know he’s a little incongrous with BioRA and all that, but hey : even with my exceptional good looks, we could all use a bit of Sexta Espada.
Oops. Wrong one. Scratch that…
Gak! – I’m working on it. Rrrrrrrrrrright-0. Here we go! Behold! The Big! The Bad! The Bold! The Blue…
…well, hey. Looks like my beloved 3NOns, and Joshua Tung who gets a guest appearance for sheer charisma, can give Mr Panthera a run for his money after all! And why not – you guys are my world!
Somebody doesn’t seem too excited about having to share a blogpost.
How are you? Happy twentyleven! This is an original term of my own. It has 4 syllables, say it with me : twen-ty-le-ven! It’s much shorter than twen-ty-e-le-ven or two-thou-sand-and-e-le-ven. Good to know you’re walking in Bilbo Baggins’ hobbit non-shoes : “I am eleventy-one years old!” (He is a hundred and eleven years old.) Eleventy-one, twenty-leven. Twenty-ten lacks the hobbityness of twenty-leven…it sounds too proper. Come to think of it, every other number (twenty-twelve, twenty-thirteen, etc) sounds proper. I’d better enjoy saying twenty-leven while I can.
So twenty-leven’s looking pretty good so far, especially because I’ve spent most of it lying down. Stomach up for looking at the sky, stomach down for reading, eating, drawing and using the computer. I’d make a pretty good compass if I could be bothered to change direction more often. God bless B 16-1, New Hampshire, Kuala Lumpur, Malayisa, for the abundance of clean, comfortable and belly-friendly surfaces. However, all that pressure isn’t flattening your stomach any, and a slacking marathon doesn’t burn calories the way a normal marathon does, so you’d best remember to do a bit of exercise. No procrastination!
Incidentally, here’s a lesson against procrastination: You know you what you should have done while you still had the chance? You should have sat the MRT from Jurong East all the way to Pasir Ris! You’ve always wanted to do it but you put it off till after the A levels. But now that you no longer have the student concession rate, you’ll have to pay a lot more to sit the train. Sucks to age! Can you imagine keeping a car, what with the petrol and all? And to think I was looking up pictures of Aston Martins! I heard they’re in the league of hard-on inducing cars, though the pictures were slightly disappointing.
I suppose it’s all relative. For me, it’s a chilly wind and epic music, such as Serenata Immortale by Immediate Music.
Funny Flash :
Covie : You know the statue of the charging bull in Manhattan? People like to stand behind it and touch its balls, and take a picture. I wanted to lick its balls and take a picture, but there were two problems with it : firstly, its minus-zero degrees out there, so if I licked it, my tongue might get stuck to it. Secondly, it was a family outing…so no hanky panky.
Hamtaro: Wait. what?
Covie : The statue of the charging bull at wall street?
Hamtaro :…I didn’t hear the word ‘statue’ at first.
Covie : Why…would I want to lick the balls of a real bull?!
(Why would you want to lick the balls of anything?)